Crucial Instructions To Ensure You Are Largely Ineffectual

  1. Just start doing stuff. You’ll get it right the first time so don’t worry about gathering and examining at any kind of success-data, nor setting any targets against them.
  2. On that note, your job is pretty much done once you’ve selected your solution. Just configure it and run some training.
  3. To ensure everyone does the new thing, make sure you mandate it.
  4. Managed to secure a huge project budget? – Make sure you put aside at least 70% of it for an army of consultants from the big firms. If you don’t have an average of 2 consultants for every 1 internal FTE on your project, you’re in trouble.
  5. It’s crucial that your executive board know how well the project is going – so ensure that your project reports get at least 1-3 full days of joint effort dedicated to them every week. Also – your project must never be anything but green.
  6. Ensure you start and sponsor lots of projects. Then use those projects to leave for greener pastures; if not before go-live, then before anyone looks at post-implementation.
  7. Paperwork & templates are god. Worship accordingly.

See you all next week.